Goodness, how I have been waiting these past few weeks on pins and needles to record this story officially in writing. Before the real craziness of life begins to set in and the small details and moments of the past few weeks begin to fade...
I'd like to just begin by saying that we are so happy and content with our current state. Kate has brought more joy into our lives than we could have ever expected, we are happy with our work, and are so fortunate to enjoy the support and company of great friends and family.
This past holiday season was a busy one. Between work, decorating, shopping, gift-wrapping, baking, traveling, etc, etc. You moms really know how it is. And we only have one baby. I was on the way home from work just a few days before Christmas the first time it even occurred to me to take a pregnancy test, just to "rule that out," (as it was in my mind). I was quite shocked, and, being perfectly honest, a little unsettled with the positive pregnancy test. We had not planned this. And I am a planner in the truest sense of the word. ("Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Prov 19:21. I have been trying to live by this verse daily.) Obviously I immediately came to Joe and shared the news, with which I was met with eternal optimism, as always. He is so perfectly my opposite and such an awesome voice of reason for me, and has been on so many different occasions. Thank God for Joe.
Christmas came and went. I went ahead and called my doctor and scheduled the appointment for January 5, just about 2 weeks after we found out about the pregnancy. During these 2 weeks, I experienced a few minor "issues" but nothing too far out of the ordinary. I felt good, generally. I did tell Joe this felt sort of different from my first pregnancy, but couldn't really explain why. A little nervous, we went on in for the first appointment January 5. I climbed up on the table for the ultrasound, feeling a little uneasy considering the few minor issues I had been experiencing, and somewhat entertaining the thought that something could possibly be wrong. I guess it took about 1-2 minutes; ok, I really don't know how long it took, before the sonographer asked, "Is this your first pregnancy?" As we told her "no," I suspect we both were thinking, something's wrong and she's about to tell us what it is. The screen looked funny. There seemed to be a lot more, well, "stuff" in the picture than what I had remembered when I was pregnant with Kate. She proceeded to say, "Well, I'm not sure you're expecting this, but here's Baby A, and here's Baby B," while pointing to the screen. I don't remember much other than the very breath flowing out of me and just gasping for air while immediately looking up at Joe at the same time. His jaw was on the floor and his eyes looked like two huge golf balls popping out of his head. I asked for a Valium; she told me I could not have that. (Why I requested this, I don't have a clue; I have never taken a single Valium in my life). We proceeded on with the ultrasound, saw two tiny little heartbeats, all during which I simply tried to catch my breath and nearly cut off the circulation in Joe's hand from squeezing it so tightly. When we were done, I climbed down from the table and went into the restroom to try to get myself together for a few moments. I looked into the mirror wiping away tears, and the Lord right then reminded me that He will most definitely supply all our needs through His glorious riches in Christ Jesus, AND that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me (Philipp 4). Love how those verses popped into my head at that very moment. I took a deep breath, walked back out of the restroom, looked at the sonographer and totally lost it. She must have thought I was a lunatic. I had a total nervous breakdown right there in the doctor's office. I think I was pretty much "that patient" in the office that day. They wouldn't even ask me to come back to check my vitals until after I had seen the doctor. We had to go back out into the waiting room to wait to see my doctor for what seemed like an eternity. Ironically while we were sitting there waiting, a very pregnant mom walked into the waiting room with a set of twins in a double stroller, a boy and a girl. They could not have been more precious sitting there quietly in their stroller, probably not quite even a year old. Joe told me God was telling us that all was going to be alright. We finally were called back to see my doctor. Thankfully, she was very reassuring and gave us a quick rundown of what to expect these next few months. We left there looking white as sheets and feeling totally outside of ourselves.
Baby "B" is at the top facing the picture; Baby "A" is standing on his head at the bottom
We decided not to share the news with many people outside immediate family. We wanted to be sure everything was going to be ok up until the next visit and just simply needed the time for the shock to wear off (will it ever?!) and allow the news to sink in more for ourselves. We went for our second appointment February 2 where we saw two little babies on the ultrasound rolling around and "having a party" as Margaret, the sonographer, put it. Everything seems to look great and be progressing nicely thus far. One of the benefits of having a twin pregnancy is getting to have a sonogram at every doctor visit. We will go back March 2 for our next appointment. We're hoping we'll be able to find out sexes then. Yes, we do plan to find out. We do not need any more surprises here!
Now, I realize this story the way I've put it may seem dramatic. People do have twins every day and it is nothing too far out of the norm. BUT...twins happen to other people! Not Joe and Amanda. Funny the responses you get, though. From the people we have told thus far, almost across the board the first question everybody asks is, "Do twins run in either of your families??" The answer is NO. They do not. Neither of us is aware of any twins on either side, although I've come to realize it is the mother's side that determines it, so Joe certainly couldn't be held responsible. ;) So, as I asked Margaret during that first sonogram, "How could this have happened?!" To which she matter-of-factly replied, "Well, it's got to start somewhere!" As many of our friends have assured us, God just wants these babies here with us. And for some reason, He has decided to give us twins. Pretty awesome responsibility, but overwhelming all the same.
I am not ashamed to admit that I am terrified. One baby was challenge enough. I am concerned about the pregnancy itself (will I physically really be able to do this?!), as well as the time after they arrive. All we can do is trust Him! Amazing how He has already provided. My best friend from childhood has been down this exact same road. Cameron was the very first person I called to share the news. She has been such a source of comfort and encouragement to me these past few weeks, reminding me that this really is do-able! We have had some good laughs. If anyone had told us in the 9th grade that we would both have toddlers, and then a set of twins, we would have thought they were completely nuts. Thank goodness He is in control.
I am almost 31 years old, and I can honestly say, nothing,
NOTHING, has ever in my life rocked my world quite like this has.
Joe and I, parents of a toddler AND
twins?! Really?! Reality is beginning to set in and we are slowly starting to plan for their arrival. Still a lot of fear but more excitement is beginning to build. I plan to post updates regularly of this new adventure. Please keep us in your prayers! Lord knows we are going to need them :)
"...children are a gift of the LORD..." Psalm 127:3
